February is a time for Valentines and for expressing and showing love. From the simplest gesture to an extreme adventure, couples and friends are thinking of how best to show they care. Since this is a provident living column, these suggestions will be ones that are inexpensive, yet speak volumes.
Find out your partner's preferred "Love Language." Do they want to hear words of love? See acts and service that bespeak love? Or feel affection and know they are cherished? Some people feel loved by receiving little gifts. Or maybe a combination of the above ideas will melt away past emotional distance and resentments. Real love is not based on your preference but your partner's.
Speak your love. Clear communication will let your partner and your children know how much you love them. Mention specific traits and deeds you especially love about them. The more specific you are, the more they know you’ve really noticed.
Show your love through your actions, such as preparing a luxurious bath, doing the dishes, planning a special activity, or writing a poem. Choose an action that you know your partner will appreciate. Doing things begrudgingly sends negatives vibes.
Spend time being present with your partner or child. Turn off the phone, the TV, computer, i-pad, and the radio and sit together where you can talk, look at each other, plan, dream and listen. Talk about your dreams together and where you two are going in life. Ironically, technology, with the power to connect long distance, often drives huge wedges in families and destroys spousal closeness.
Listen when wives and daughters need to talk — without offering solutions. Women need to be heard as well as listened to. Ask questions, clarify when you don’t understand, but don’t lecture or state the obvious. Before giving a suggestion, ask if they want one. Most likely they won’t, they just want to vocalize what they’re going through.
Ask about the details of his/her day or work, even some of the boring minutia.
Show genuine pride in even their smallest accomplishments. Praise them in front of your children, or friends.
Find a balance with your work and home life. Don’t let work take precedence over your relationships.
Be an old-fashioned gentleman. Hold the door. Help women with coats, chairs. Offer your seat, or to carry something heavy. Practice these same manners with the elderly, infirm, and young.
Enroll in a class together — It might be exercise, pottery, family history, cooking, or marriage enrichment.
Ask the question, "What can I do for you today, honey?"
Learn to have the last word in arguments, by sincerely saying, "I'm sorry.
And, Oh, yes! You can't go wrong with flowers.
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