Five Facets of Life and Parent Leadership

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; 

worry that they are always watching you.”   

        - Robert Fulghum—

From an early age, Peyton has had amazing social skills

As with any corporation, or organization, monthly evaluations are essential to on-going success and progress.  Such should be the case in a family organization.  Linda and Richard Eyre, leaders for over 30 years in family dynamics, suggest that parents sit down with their spouse (or someone else who knows and loves your children) once a month (or whenever is feasible) and talk about how each child is doing in their "five-facets" of life:

1) Socially – Can they function in society, talk to others, interact appropriately, and correctly use manners?  If not, what adjustments can parents make in teaching such things?

Some things that might help children learn more social skills would include, inviting other families over for a meal or a cook out or activity; visiting with relatives and encouraging them to sit down and talk instead of playing during part of that time;  interviewing with interesting people; having manners nights in conjunction with a family meal, and inviting someone over to help teach about social skills, and most of all just practicing talking with your own family during family meals.

Not only has Michael been an exception leader in his
priesthood quorum, but also in his scout troop.

2) Spiritually – Do they have a belief in God, rely on him, pray to him, and seek for inspiration in making decisions?  Do they see themselves as dual natured – as both a physical and spiritual being? What activities in the family help reinforce these activities and concepts?

Family initiated events that quickly come to mind would be church attendance as a family, family and individual prayers, blessings on the food at all meals, service to others, personal scripture study, Family Home Evenings and conversations related to personal spiritual promptings and experiences.  The family can also celebrate important religious events such as baptisms, baby blessings, weddings, and missionary comings and going. 

Ava's baptism was an event the whole family rejoiced in.

Sam earned his Arrow of Light, and in 2016
competed in a National Robotics competition.

3) Mentally – Are they working up to their academic capabilities? Are they progressing and learning to use both right and left brain thinking skills on a regular basis?
Many mutual and primary activities encourage this kind of thinking.  Scouting involves challenging thinking as goals are met. Placing homework, reading, and others studies as priorities is important. Learning new skills increases the synapses in the brain and empowers children. Music skills are especially beneficial in this regard, as they use both sides of the brain.

Learning how to sew, gives everyone involved a chance
to show their true emotional stability.  Madison did an
exceptional job in her first endeavor.

4) Emotionally – Can they appropriately express their emotions: frustrations, anger, successes, and feelings?  Have you taught them to use their words?

I am always impressed when I hear my children and their spouses remind their child to "use their words" instead of crying, shouting, or becoming angry."  Teaching children the vocabulary related to emotions is also very valuable, as is using "I messages" which express how you feel, instead of lashing out. These sound like, "I feel valued and happy when you take time to listen to me; or I feel disappointed when you don't complete what you promised to do.  Learning how to show love and care for others, even animals can promote emotional development.

Ryan learning how to share love with Porter

While hand-held devices take less space, they tend
to socially isolate people. Jax, Gannon, and Mattea
find Twister an fun active game to play

5) Physically – Are they healthy, physically active, and engaged in doing, not just watching?  What family activities could be added to encourage this?  What activities hinder this?  Families would be wise to include at least some physical sports that can be done together.  Hiking, running, biking, tennis, soccer, and swimming are some that lend themselves to multi-age participation. When possible encourage kids to participate in community or church sports activities and parents can volunteer to be coaches.  Yay, Andrew, Autumn, Ashley, Nathan, Rob, and Anthony for their efforts on the field helping kids learn and grow.

Parents can direct children
to healthy activities

At the end of each set of these five questions, you must ask: If children aren’t, how can I as a parent help them?  

And most importantly – check yourself on these same five facets.  How are you doing?  Remember your children and grandchildren are watching.  

Parents are the coaches of the next generation.  Their game plan and practice sessions with each child, will affect the caliber of their team's success as they face the challenges of life!  Anyone who minimizes or discredits the role of parents in raising responsible children, is either a simpleton, in denial, or uninformed.